Show Your Face
The Greater the Distance, the Easier It Is to Say "No."
The further away someone is from you, the easier it is to say no.
Scientific studies have proved this, and the idea makes perfect sense. Think about it: what’s the easiest way to break bad news to someone? Send a text or email. While not always the most appropriate way, those methods do feel easier because we are not seeing or interacting with the other person. We minimize our feelings and do not see their reaction. It’s a soulless way to communicate.
That’s why if you want someone to say “yes” to something you’ve proposed, you should meet them in person. If that’s not possible, have a virtual meeting and keep your camera on, even if you’re the only one on camera. In many of my negotiations I am the only face on the screen and that’s OK because if the other party sees me, they are more likely to make a connection with me. I don’t want a soulless negotiation, I want one with feeling.
In many ways virtual negotiations have improved the ability to connect with clients. When I started my career as a deal maker with IBM we had two ways to communicate with the client: in person, or by phone. Often we’d have a call in a large conference room with 10 people gathered around a speakerphone trying to work through the deal with the client’s team in another city, and no one saw anyone. In fact, I had a telephone negotiation with a client many years ago where the client was so frustrated that I would not agree to his demands that he started stabbing his wall with a pencil. I was on the phone so I didn’t see it. My colleague was in the office with the client and told me what happened. Imagine how that would have felt to see that on video!
So whenever and however you can, show your face. If it’s in person, terrific. If you must meet by video, that’s OK. Make sure they see you and get a sense of who you are. The stronger your presence, the stronger your relationship and the greater the opportunity to build a thread of trust. And trust closes deals.
(Please subscribe if you would like to learn more about improving your skills as a negotiator and person of influence. Subscribers will receive notification of the publication of my forthcoming book: “Running the Room: A Simple Guide to Becoming a Person of Influence.”)
(Photo by visuals)